i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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