your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
