just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
