I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
foreskin is a definite game changer
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
