once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
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