Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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