Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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