I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize