i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
