My room smells like vodka and shame
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
