We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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