Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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