I think I died a long time ago.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize