and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
