did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
