better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
