Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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