So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
