My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
