So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
