You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize