You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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