Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
