I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
