i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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