why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
