In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
