mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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