ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
