Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
