We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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