I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
