So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
