I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Everyone says I win the strip club
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
