I just cut my nipple shaving
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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