You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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