i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We named our party play list daddy issues
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
