i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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