I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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