Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
