im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
