Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
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At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.