Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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