I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
