Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
