You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
