I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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