I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
did i walk over a car last night?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The ass gains better be worth it
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