MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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