Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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