shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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