The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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