He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
