grandma shit on top of the toilet
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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