So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
