This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
