Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
