Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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