I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
