Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
