weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
