One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
