We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
