he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
